It is Friday evening and your young people are going to the movies. Do you know what they are watching? Do you care? Do you know who they are going with? Would you go with them? Do you know what it is rated and what is in it? Here is a short excerpt of an email I just received.
This summer, our sons and daughters have a lot of choices when it comes to what movies are playing at the local theater. It almost seems this year several new movies are coming out each week.It’s clear to me that the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) does a very poor job in the ratings department, and an even worse job is letting parents know what objectionable content is in a particular movie.For example, a young lady I know recently posted on her Facebook page that she was going back to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for a second time. Her parents had no idea that this PG-13 film contains extensive sexual scenes, violence, drug use, and 37 strong profanities. And, her Christian parents were shocked to learn that the Hollywood blockbuster used God’s name in vain 19 times!As moms, it’s important that we know what our children and grandchildren are being influenced by. If we are going to trust the MPAA to do it for us, we’re in big trouble.
I am sure I know way too many people who have seen that movie already, and let’s just say I am ashamed if you liked it. And even more than shocked that they paid for it. God help us. But that isn’t what I am really sharing about here. I am wanting to share how NOT to have backslidden teenagers.
First of all, around here we don’t call them teenagers. The word teenager is a social term, it doesn’t mean an age group, it means a cultural group. It reminds us of rebellion and peer pressure and no respect for parents, immoral activity, drugs, sex and rock and roll, reckless driving and being “cool” at all costs. Tell me if I am wrong. I didn’t think so. Now if teenagers are what you want with you as a testimoney “here I am , I and the children God has given me” (Isaiah 8:18) then go right ahead. I choose to live for a higher cause. I believe my children will change the world for the better. That is what I have given my life for. That is my contribution to God’s Kingdom. That is my cause worth dying for. I have written tons of articles on this subject that have been published in several places so I won’t repeat everything, but here are my top 30 tips on how NOT to have a rebellious teenager.
- raise them with the truth
- set an example
- walk in the light
- don’t call them teenagers
- pay attention to what they do as if their life depends on it
- love them like a parent, like them like a friend
- take time for them
- do things they want to do, not just things you want to do
- sacrifice for the cause
- pray instead of sleeping
- know what they are doing and who they are talking to
- audit your cell phone bill OFTEN
- be their friend on facebook
- pray without ceasing ad fast when needed
- make their interests YOUR interests
- become friends with their friends
- ask God for discernment and use it
- take time for them
- encourage them in what is right
- remind them that being right with God is more important than being cool with their friends
- remind them sometimes if they need new friends 🙂
- have household rules not suggestions
- don’t waiver on what God says is right
- tell them you love them OFTEN and make sure they know it is true
- remember the goal is to live for the Kingdom not for the flesh
- hold them accountable
- teach them responsibility, especially during the summer months, summer does not mean “free for all”
- remind them we are to change the world not have it change us
- remind them of eternity
- LOVE them, LOVE them, LOVE them
Remember we are raising young people to become adults who will contribute to God’s Kingdom and the community around them.
added note- as a parent I am not here to be Hitler in my young people’s lives, my goal is not to govern them but rather to be an Aaron, holding their arms up and encouraging them to follow God’s voice. We are all on the same side.
Amanda says
Amen Amen Amen! 😀
HUGS!
Penny says
and I add, Amanda is 19 🙂
Jacque says
I echo Amanda’s AMEN`s!!
Sounds like our house, eh, Amanda? 🙂
I love the part about “don’t call them teenagers”. I loathe that term… for the very reasons you stated.
GREAT POST!!!
Michelle says
Thanks for posting this Penny. Is it okay to repost on my FB?
Sherry says
Thank you for this wonderful post! 😀
Felicia says
Ditto to what Amanda said. 🙂
Amen indeed! So, so true.
I think the two things that help us a lot are love and discipline. Love, so that we know we ARE loved and wanted, and firm yet caring discipline, to define right from wrong very clearly!
JoJo Tabares says
Being a parent is being a leader. A Godly leader doesn’t lead by fear or with power. He or she leads with love, by example and expresses himself well so the child understands more than what to do but why. I talk about this in my latest book, The Language of Leadership. My dd has been a big opponent of the word teenager. She gets upset when the media portrays young people as having to go through this rebellious right of passage.
But I do have to say that even the best parent can have teens with a rebellious heart at times and if that teen has medical issues, that can complicate things quite a lot.
Penny says
JoJo I appreciate your comments, please feel free to leave links for your books. 🙂
Dorothy L says
What an excellent post of awareness and hindsight for parents of young teens!
Keeping the communication doors open is also vital to maintaining an honest and healthy relationship.
Even when what they are telling you is not what you might enjoy hearing….breathe and/or go for a walk then return. Whatever you do….do not cut them off before they have finished sharing and/or become irrational or judgmental.
Karen W says
It’s just common sense. Or perhaps I should say, uncommon sense because so many parent’s don’t have a clue.
.-= Karen W´s last blog ..My Story – Part 1 =-.
Michele says
Amen….I am guilty of using the term Teenagers….but have always hated it….never again!!!!
Oh and the movies….driving me crazy right now….everyone (Christian friends)is watching such trash that I refuse to let my kids see, making it so hard because all the friends are telling them how great they are and then I have to explain that it is not pleasing to God even though all thier Christian friends are the ones who loved it….I do not get it.
Thank you so much for this article, it is so encouraging when you find someone who is on the same page….then you realize you are not alone on this journey!!! 🙂
.-= Michele´s last blog ..Homeschool Dance =-.
Michelle says
Pray instead of sleeping. I like that one. They are all great!
One thing I do with my children is allow them to make decisions for themselves with my supervision. I don’t want them to believe what I believe just because I believe it. I want it to be real to them. So, if they ask me if something is honoring to the Father or not, I never just tell them. I ask them what they think. Often they will come to me and tell me of their convictions. And when I leave them to make a decision, I pray! But, Scripture is true, even a child knows what is right!
I never thought of the term “teenager” as being negative. Makes sense, though. As long as “public schoolers” can be lumped in there as well.
I am just grateful that I already call my 13 year old a young man.
.-= Michelle ´s last blog ..Web Design for Kids =-.
Honey says
I loved this post! These are things for us to think about as our children approach the teen years. Thank you. Blessings.
Kela says
Yes, I know that this was written a little while ago. I found this post from Jacque’s blog. We are in the throws of this phase as our oldest two are 14 and 15 y/o. The oldest walks with more conviction of knowing what glorifies or honors God but still wants to test the waters because of her “christian” friends at church. There is much to say about that, but not in this reply.
The movies thing was a biggie this summer too. Even though we’ve gotten big resistence, they know ahead of time what we’re gonna say.
Thank you for the 30 list. So great 🙂